i really do have an awful lot to say. there are so many things to share with you - stories of our wedding and honeymoon and of visiting family and of wedding receptions. of packing my life into boxes and suitcases, and then trying to unpack and settle into a new house, a new area of melbourne, a new married life. there are stories and pictures and tales a mile long. but for now, with this dodgy borrowed internet and a brief snatch of time, the things i want to say are different.
see, i've been thinking a lot recently about how you make a house a home... for me, this has been harder than i would have expected. harder than i ever remember it being. i've moved lots of times, but never before struggled to feel at home.
when we first moved in here, i thought it would be about having your stuff, familiar things, unpacked and put away. things you've had for years out and in use. but i am realising that it is deeper than that. each box we've unpacked and put away, for me, hasn't made this house feel any more like ours.
then i was thinking it would be about living in the space. but we've been here 5 weeks now, and although it does feel more like home. it still doesn't feel like ours. i still don't quite feel comfortable in this space. i feel a bit like i am all elbows and knees and my clothes are too big and i'm wearing somebody else's shoes. i feel a bit like we're living in the in between.
so yesterday i tried a different tack - i got outside and stuck my fingers in the dirt and planted this:
a rosemary bush. a solid thing. and maybe as it settles in and puts its roots down, we too will spread our roots deeply here and feel at home.
what about you? what makes you feel at home?
deep dark winter
3 days ago